a gray wall
At the core of the human condition sits identity, and its uniqueness is often considered a threat to society. Those following social norms are usually rewarded, those defying them are almost always exorcised. Thus, the process of conforming starts at an early age and subconsciously lead to the erasure of personal features and adoption of “should-be” behavioral and physical attributes. Clothing choices and bodily manipulations enhance the conforming by layering and masking identity. The assimilation with the dominant culture is all but easy. It is painful. It is a doomed endeavor since no manipulation alters the soul’s true essence. The alterings only ignite an inner struggle to rid the skin that doesn’t shed. It’s a dance with each step inflicting a new wound without healing the old wounds.
Gradually, a belief is formed dictating metamorphosing into a pristine white wall, dimensionless, featureless. But life is life, and the wall turns out to be gray, rough, and utterly disappointing. By then, old age sets in with the fear of insufficient time to reverse it all. But at that point, after so much pondering, like Cavafy’s Old Man who was deceived by Prudence, all fall asleep in the arms of oblivion.
